you don't know a damn thing about my life.

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:03:48 GMT

if you read this, let me know in a comment with your name. i've been getting some sketchy people looking at this, so from now on, there's gonna be a lot of private posts that either A) certain people can read only, or B) are private for only myself.

it's in my best interests to keep it this way.

and by the way if you have LJ, just add me as a friend. as long as i know you and you're not someone trying to hide their identity in order to read my "private entries," i'll add you back.

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:19:36 GMT

i wonder if anyone still reads this shit.

oh well, here goes.

The rain is steady and temperamental,
As the boy shifts in his chair.
The girl before him can't help herself,
She runs a hand through her hair.
Words pour out like the tears down her cheek,
She can't believe the boy.
Her heart beats straight out of her chest:
The heart he must destroy.

The raw emotion could burn this place,
She takes a look around.
The boy was already two steps ahead,
When he tore their pictures down.
She glances at her naked finger.
Where the ring had made its mark.
As she picks up her keys and starts for the door,
She'll never forget the spark.

The boy who once showed her affection and trust,
And made her smile each day,
Had decided he just wasn't content,
With the girl he had swept away.
And so it came to an evening in June,
When the girl had the boy on the phone.
The boy had spoke, then retracted his words,
He realized his cover was blown.

Through midnight and morning she continued to cry,
She lay wide awake in bed.
And the boy who had drove the stake through her heart,
Chose to ignore her instead.
The last week of school was painfully long,
Without the boy at her side.
As they counted down the minutes and seconds,
And declared their senior pride.

The girl hid her eyes under sunglasses and hair,
When the tears began to fall.
The senior events and yearbook exchange,
Did nothing but make her feel small.
A week had gone by, with the prom growing near,
And still, not a word from the boy.
She lay down each night with a knot in her stomach,
Not even liquor could destroy.

And so it has come to the girl and her heart,
And the time it will take her to heal.
The boy who had once been a hero to her,
Had one more lie to conceal.
Since the warm days of March and April alike,
The boy had hidden his guilt.
Until now, she thought he had loved her so pure,
Unaware of the lie he had built.

The girl who had seen blue skies for three years
Now, barely gets through the day
Knowing now she must learn to expect
An ominous sky painted grey.
And until her heart is mended again,
And the pain has faded with time
She will never forget her first true love,
The boy she used to call "mine."

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 22:17:07 GMT

you know it must be something important for me to take up writing in livejournal again.

he broke up with me.

dream

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:20:32 GMT

so, i had THE BEST dream ever last night. and the only reason i'm writing it on LJ is for my purposes only.
this could be a kickass movie someday.

cast:

ben affleck as dan stoneridge

matt damon reprising his role as jason bourne

leonardo dicaprio as nick avesia

jake gyllenhaal as tony liancono

it's basically a turf war, and it's these guys and me as the "good guys." it starts off as some riot in the middle of town where the cops have to get involved, and these bad guys are from out of town and want to scope this place out for their terrorist organization. well when the police don't let them in, they plow through the crowd with their car and get out and go on a shooting rampage. the 4 guys, who are undercover cops assigned to the riot, take cover behind the last wall standing on a demolished building. they exchange gunfire, and jason is shot, but okay. nick is also shot in the throat but he survives (not likely but this was in my dream) and when you see nick get shot, it was like watching the movie. you were zoomed into a hidden camera on the other side and then you follow the bullet all the way to nick. anyway, somehow we end it, and myself, jason, and nick (leo) are the only ones left. i walk with them holding both of their hands, scared as anything, as we set off a grenade to hide ourselves while we leave. all of a sudden i wind up in bed with nick (?!?!?!) but of course nothing happens. we're just laying and talking...and that's where it ends i think. the longer i go after waking up from the dream, the less i remember. really sucky for a movie plot, but i just wanted to get it down somewhere. its not often when you get a superstar cast like that in a movie (except maybe the departed)

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:50:08 GMT

so today is the first day of september. pretty much last call for summer ohsev.

but let's not go there right now...

cause i made varsity cheerleading :] i'm reallllllly excited about that and i can't wait for school to start now! this is gonna be one hell of a year. jazz choir, cheerleading, disney TWICE, classes i actually like, softball, the perks of being a senior......asdlhjdfjhsd gonna be sickkkk

ummmm nothing else really.... gotta go get my hair cut soon. i'm donating it and it's gonna be right on top of my shoulders. weird.... but it has to be done. i've been wanting to donate my hair for years now and it takes forever to grow just an inch.... so finally here's my chance. it shouldn't be that bad. and anyway, it'll be healthier. win-win!

so yeah that's really it i guess. just gonna ride out the rest of the summer and then the madness begins once again :]

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 19:02:40 GMT

life is good. i got my car back so i'm really happy about that. kurt and i are going through a really great phase in our relationship (no it's not what you're thinking).... ever since he went on vacation for a week, we haven't argued or anything. i think what they say really is true; distance makes the heart grow fonder. and he does this cute little fauxhawk thing with his hair now that makes me go crazy :] i wrote him a lot of poems while he was away.... and read them to him when he came home. and ever since, he's been acting really sweet and charming. i guess with this only being a week, boot camp is gonna be a love fest when he comes back.

cheerleading tryouts: they're going pretty good. today's the final day. we have to perform in front of the judges and i'm one of the first few to go. i'm really nervous about the dance cause i'm STILL a little shaky, not to mention my knee is bothering me a little bit, but i'm pushing forward now more than ever. i have a big disadvantage what with my knee AND the fact that i haven't done tumbling since my injury. (you need a back handspring on varsity) but i have a lot of strength that the other girls don't, and donnelly and grieser know that, so hopefully that and my cheering, jumps,and dance are enough to get by. i don't want sympathy because of my injury and the surgery that followed it, but there's sometimes where i have to take it easy to avoid straining my knee, and my physical therapist told me to hold off on tumbling as long as i could. so i'm screwed there, but we'll see. i didn't work this hard for nothing.
i want this so badly. and i'm gonna get it.

woooooo on another note, i had a dream about denis leary last night :] i dreamt that i was putting together a shower door in a bathroom (dont ask.. i have no idea) and he was helping me and talking to me about something and all of a sudden i looked up and said "kiss me" and he knew he couldn't cause he was older than me, but he said he wanted to.... so he just walked away, ashamed.... and i followed him outside and he went to go sit in my car in the driver's seat.... so i came out and sat on his lap?! and we were talking and some kid who loked about my age came up to the back window and was like "hey guys what's up" and denis and i just looked at eachother like wtf leave us alone.... and then i woke up.

awesome. hey don't get me wrong, denis leary is a pretty good looking guy for being 50 years old.

that sounds weird i know.... ugh forget it.

god thing no one really reads this anyway hah

update?

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:46:27 GMT

ummmm so its been over a month since i last updated and apparently courtney stalks me to make sure i'm writing in it? yeah anyway... life's good. kurt, my sister, her boyfriend and i went to a yankee game in the city a few days after my birthday.... it was a lot of fun... believe it or not it was my first yankee game. i used to go to the mets games when i was younger cause we got free tickets from girl scouts, yet i hated the mets and still do. ah well. if it's free its for me. :]

our two year anniversary was nice. we went out to dinner at carrabbas and hung out for the rest of the night at his house. uhhhh oh yeah then soon enough it was kurt's birthday and we got him lots of stuff. i got him a sterling silver dog tag that has a lyric on it in script and our names engraved, so he can wear it on his chain with his real dogtags. he loves it :] my mom got him corona bottle string lights, a corona towel, and his favorite video game that he's beat over 20 times but still continues to play. in the beginning of august i went to cheer camp, which sucked major ass. it wouldve been fine but the first day nobody knew it was outside so no one brought sunblock.... i swear, the 3 hottest days of the summer and they have to be during a 7 hour outdoor cheerleading camp. now i have really bad tanlines on my legs, and i BARELY escaped having tanlines from my brace. thank God i didn't get too much color on my legs that first day. but thats over. i went with some of the crew to splish splash last week, then montauk for the day, and then it was off to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled on thursday. horrible. worst experience of my life. they didn't put me to sleep like i had hoped so they gave me shots of novacaine all around my mouth in my gums. normally you're only supposed to get 8 or so but i got 20. i was freaking out so bad about the needles and everything that my body was rejecting the novacaine and i was so nervous that my body was pretty much convulsing out of the chair. i really hate shots. then when we were almost done, i started to feel everything on the very last tooth, so i got 4 more shots of novacaine to total 20. needless to say, i was bleeding for over 24 hours afterwards and i'm still taking painkillers 5 days later. :[

anyway on a completely different note..... i'm really not liking a certain person right now. she loves to flirt with TAKEN guys right in front of the girlfriend's face, and even behind her back. text messages to ask "what are you doing tonight", flirtatious comments, rumors getting back to me about her sketchy way of "being friends" with my boyfriend, etc...... it has to stop. and it will stop. i plan on making a very enjoyable phone call to this certain someone very soon. i'm gonna need my mouth to start feeling better, but it's going to be worth every minute of the wait.

LG, you're never gonna know what hit you.

BIRFDAY WISHES!!!!!!

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 05:38:14 GMT

i figured i'd document my birthday forever and ever in my livejournal so i can look back on it whenever i want :] everything's in LJ cuts which means all the stuff in this entry is hidden behind a link so CLICK AWAY if you must!!!

AIM MESSAGES :]

echo2kelo16: happy birfday to you!
its j marr ox: aw happy birthday =]
alexxandriiaaa: happy bday!
martiniikiisesxo: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY <333333333
vandiumtrepidate: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAY
k demar XO: happy birtthday!!
WishUponAxStarrr: Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!! (that was in huge purple letters too!)
ohMARIAdear: happy, happy, happy birthday love! =]
Laxdefender108: happpppy birthday
vallikestoDISCO: ahhhh i like just got home. but i knew it was ur birthdya all day lol. happy birthday !! =]
AVP22Rio: happy late birthday!

FACEBOOK WALL POSTS :]

Kerry Troy wrote:

hello lady, im going upstate for 3 days. i know, sounds great. NOT. anyway, idk what my chances are of getting on a computer.. but i wanted to put this here now - HAPPY BIRTHDAY. you'll be receiving a text and call as well, just in case you forget it's your birthday :)

Lauren Kamena wrote:
happy birthdayy! :)

Kurt Kusterbeck wrote:
Happy Birthday Baby! wait untilll you see your present later.

Laurel Gromatski wrote:
happy birthday<3333

Kristyn Demartinis wrote:
happy birthday !

John Schoepfer wrote:
happy b day

Kim Sarro wrote:
ferrr babyyy! happy birthdayyy! love yaa!<3

Steve Curran wrote:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Billy Weinstein wrote:
happy birthday

Jenna McCutchen wrote:
happy birthday!

Alexandria Riccio wrote:

HAPPYY BIRTHDAY GIRLIE<3

Julie Gerver wrote:
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPYYYY BDAAAAAAAAAAAY !!!!

Jenn Martino wrote:
happy birthdayy! =]

Daanyaal Khan wrote:
happy birthday =)

MYSPACE COMMENTS:

Kadums:
happy birthday loviee ♥

Rich:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY <33

Mrs. Spiars aka Mishy:

Jenn Hutchins:
HAPPY BIRTHDAYY =] ♥

Anthony:
Happy birthday!! (i had no idea till i saw the comments)

but wait, there's more!!

MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT FROM KURTYFACE!
the outside of the locket.
i'm gonna go get it engraved with our initials eventually

the inside of the locket. apparently it's bad luck to
give a locket to someone without putting pictures in it.

at carrabbas looking like an idiot with my birthday brownie thing...

i had an amazing day and a lot of fun with my family and my boyfrienddddd even though he lad to leave me for a little while :[ but i'm so thankful for all my friends and my family for wishing me well on my 17th birthday <3333

now it's time for sleeps so goodnight :]

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 15:36:27 GMT

just a quick update: 4th of july was really fun even though the weather sucked. we went to my aunt's house and kurt came, just like the years before. there was a shitload of people there and a lot of them i didn't know, but my cousin who graduated this year set up a huge slip and slide using a tarp, a hose, and gallons of industrial school bathroom soap. we watched him and his friends endlessly wipe out and it was probably the highlight of the day, besides the fireworks. my uncle got fireworks that cost minimum $100 each, with the grand finale firework (yes.... ONE mortar) costing him $250. with that kind of money i could get myself a nice digital camera but noooooo..... we have to set it on fire and in less than 3 seconds.... it's gone. ah well.... it was fun while it lasted.

i dont remember anything else worth reporting these last few days... yesterday was derek's surprise party and i got to hang out with derek, feme, grace, and his extended family for the day, which was nice. i got to see derek for probably the last time before he goes to iraq, and i finally saw feme's engagement ring hahaha and as you can imagine it was gorgeous.

um oh yeah countdowns....

birthday = 2 days!!
2 yr anniversary = 10 days!!!

:]

short beach day 2

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 15:21:06 GMT

yesterday was amazingggggggg and idk if i can fit it all into one entry but i'll try.

steve came to pick me up to go to the beach and of course, i felt nauseous on the way there but i was fine. kurt wasn't allowed to come cause of his stupid parents and hutchy is still on vacation. :[ so we get there and rich, kristyn, dave, and jenn were already there since like 10:30. sweet. so we chilled and went in the water for a little bit and rich kept picking up horseshoe crabs and letting me pet them :] then alex, kadie, rio, and his friend anthony came, so now we had everyone. then we all decided to climb the big rock again, since the tide was coming in. (last time the tide got lower as the day went on so it was really hard to climb and i didn't make it up.... haha figures) we all got up on the rock this time and jumping off of it was amazing. we each did it like 3 or 4 times and it was such an adrenaline rush. so after we got sick of that we swam back and just chilled and had rock and sand fights and overall just had a really fun time. we decided to go back to rich's house again for the night so i hopped in joey's car.... baaaaad idea. he drives like a maniac along river road hahahah but it was a lot of fun and we belted out carrie underwood. OH and when stopped at pit stop to get gas, there was a guy in a maserati next to us and joey complimented him on his ride so the guy goes "anyone that appreciates and deserves this car deserves to be good to other people" or something along those lines and the guy filled up our tank for free! hahahaha it was so much fun

we hung around the basement until everyone else got there and then we all went swimming. pool volleyball was so great <3333 girls still won!! ummm besides killing the guys in volleyball and playing marco polo until steve came back from lax, all we did was eat dominos and go nightswimming again. alex, steve, kristyn and i put up stunts in the shallow end and now my lats are sore hahah.... oh and we launched everyone in a basket toss into the deep end.... meaning i put my hand on every guy's ass that was there to push them hahahha sorry kurt i had to! i was backing! :] i had to leave at around 10:30 so i missed rio coming back from work :[ but all in all it was such a great day!!

pictures will be posted eventually, IF you know where to look :]

bittersweet.

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 18:28:36 GMT

bittersweet is the only way i can title this. it's been a crazy summer thus far, and it's only the beginning.

i have great friends who like to hang out every day, which is awesome but my family misses me and wishes i weren't out every night of the week. i can understand that, and i've been so exhausted lately from being out all the time.

i love the relaxation of the summer and i especially needed it after the hardest softball season of my life, but i know now that i need to get in shape for cheerleading. i need to run and get my endurance up, and go to tumbling. but every time i get myself ready to get into an exercise routine, i hurt myself somehow and prolong it.

although i'm going out almost every night and having fun with my friends, i still need to get myself a job. i promised myself i would have one this summer, and everywhere i applied either doesn't want me or hasn't called me back. nobody hires at 16 and nobody needs me for the summer which is the only time i can work. so i guess i'm just gonna have to keep living off my parents, even though i never want to resort to that.

the driving situation is getting more complicated by the day. carlo has the explorer in montauk and he'll have it all summer, so i won't be able to drive.(which reminds me, i STILL have to schedule my road test. with my luck, it'll probably wind up being in september.) but dad got a new company car and it's a 2004 ford escape in silver. it's an absolute dream to drive and i have fallen in love with it, and he's allowed to drive it part time home use, and part time work. the downside, again, is that i'll only be able to drive it after 4:30 pm; when he gets home from work. and they won't buy another car because of insurance. no that's fine, it's cool....guess i'll just go about my summer half-assed, begging for rides from other people so my parents wont have to drive me everywhere. yeah, it's fine.

i found out sgt. spiars is leaving. my whole "kurt-going-into-the-marines" support system is.... gone. i would not even think twice about putting my life in that man's hands if it came down to it. he and i are that close, and he has, on more than one occasion, promised me he would do anything for the two of us no matter what it may be. and i believe it, because he has kept his word and proved it many a time. i just can't believe it.
he was supposed to be here for 3 more years.... and now he could be leaving in tomorrow, 2 weeks from now, or even a few hours.
nobody knows. and if you ask me, that's the worst part.

it's all bittersweet. my whole life right now is a seesaw of pros and cons... i guess i just gotta keep praying that i don't fall off.

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 20:16:52 GMT

derek came home yesterday and came to kurt's brother's birthday. i was really happy to see him, but we only made small talk and he proceeded to remind me of something that's happening next year that i'd rather not think about. they left without saying goodbye, and that was pretty dick but whatev. i'll see them at the engagement party.

friday night was amazing with the crew (....we're still thinking up a name for us) rio couldnt come cause he's in virginia but we all hung out in town along with every other smithtown kid and had so much fun. on our way to the pizza place this weird guy was following us and he was twitching and talking to himself... we overhead him say " the skin...." and that just freaked me out right there. anyway, we chilled at brady park and played never have i ever and truth or dare and dave was dared to dance on the playground in his boxers and beater and kirstyn got some pretty sweet pictures <33333 after jenn and steve left, we met these KP kids at walgreens who were doing a scavenger hunt and we helped them out. rich and dave mooned the camera (and yes i saw me some ass), kirstyn and i belted out "since u been gone" and it was videotaped, and i got them hair barrettes. we probably did other things too but i can't remember them all... but that team definitely won because of us. so after that we went shopping around walgreens for a little while and just chilled. (by the way.... how many kids do you think can fit into a 19eightysomething sedan, minus the trunk? post a reply and i'll tell you if you're right.... :D)

umm oh yeah i gashed my toes open the other day and they hurt really bad. my big toe took the brunt of it and i broke my crocs flip flops but i got them exchanged for new ones so it wasn't too bad. i don't wanna talk about it. i'm still trying to think up a better story than "i fell off my bike on meadow road and probably about 7 people saw me do it....." oops.

anyway, school's OVERRR and i did pretty damn good 4th quarter. i got all a's and 3 b'sfor quarter grades but kicked ass on everything else.

**Final Test Grades**
Test Name	Grade
Regents Chemistry	77
Regents History	96
English Final	B
Italian Final	A
Math B Final	C

math and chemistry were a joke all year. math has always been my worst subject and mckenna... well, he's just an asshole. but i pulled a 77 on the regents and a C+ for a year so shove that up your ass, dilbert lookalike.

so now i gotta go wash off the tanning oil from earlier and get ready for jenn's house tonight. junior year book burning fiesta <3333

much needed and awaited update

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 02:29:42 GMT

so court was making fun of me today cause i don't write in this anymore. and even though it's gonna be boring and no one but her will read it, this entry is for you, you dominos slut, you.

um things have been realllllllly good lately. with the exception of some damage control and crunching for finals, i'm doin pretty good. i finally got to see the sergeants again last weekend and i didn't realize how much i missed them until i saw sgt. arocha and his wife and baby. softball kept me away from them and i never got to just screw around and have a good time with them. then this past weekend we all hung out again at kings park day, and this guy that owned a deli next to our tent kept giving us mini Heineken kegs. so all we did was sit around, eat free food and drink free beer the whole time. and i had a really nice hour-long heart-to-heart with sgt. spiars about... well, a lot of things. then following that came a really fun night hanging out with kurt, so i can't complain. :-)

what else? court and i chilled today and had a chem study fiesta cause we're so screwed for the regents on wednesday. oh well. not our faults. we did everything we could but mckenna is an asshole so yeahhh. can't wait till forensics next year with my favoritest teacher ever <333333

and on that note, i guess i'll conclude today's entry.
cause that didn't sound corny.

peace <3333!!!

Fri, 04 May 2007 01:34:27 GMT

april 26th - probably may 9th mark the busiest and most exhausting 2 weeks of my life.

i need sleep, and one normal night home.

and i left my cell phone at PT tonight. sdjdsjfyjdsbfgfgkldgbd i hate my life.

thank you, goodnight.

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 00:57:13 GMT

i'm in a really bad place in my life.

the only consistent and optimistic thing in my life as of now is kurt. he's the only one i know won't leave me when all is lost.

school is horrible. chem and math are my only C classes, but i hate having a GPA under 3.60. screw junior year. seriously.

i don't even want to talk about softball. i'm so frustrated. the whole system is so corrupt. i struggled through the hardest 7 months of my entire life: 2 hours or more at PT every night just to get back to physical activity, a completely crazy workload at school, weight issues/self esteem, friendships, etc. i'm so done with it. i really don't need all this shit.

i wonder what makes God do things like this to people. maybe the writers of the movie Bruce Almighty were onto something.....

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 02:38:29 GMT

it's 10:30 and i should be going to bed but i wanted to update real quick.

wednesday i was sick and felt disgusting and threw up all night before, so i didn't go to school and the week was so much shorter cause of it. :] um but we won all our games last week and i was unofficially back to softball on friday and i'm a little sore, but i'm pushing through. believe it or not, sore quads and calves are a welcomed pain now. i'm kinda glad i'm feeling sore and beaten. it's a feeling i was deprived of for about 6 months.

yesteday was so crazy. i had driver's ed make-up class from 7-10 and we went all the way out to tanger and got breakfast, then practice at 12:45. coach made me catch for the first time since last season for an hour and a half. i kept telling him, i can't go long cause of my knee and i need to ease back into things unless i can screw up my knee further, but he didn't care. oh yeah and then i hit, and everyone thought it was a good idea to make fun of me and my brace. i had some hits though, but it just sucks. why am i being ridiculed for being out of practice and having to take it easy as i start up with sports again? it's extremely rude and unkind and i really don't appreciate it. you try sitting on your ass for almost 6 months straight, not allowed to do anything except walk and leg press 10 pounds.

k so after softball, i went to kurt's house and then with his family to "family night" with the recruiters. how awkward. he was with his friends all night and i was stuck with his parents, not knowing what to do or say (i don't like them very much, but they seem to LOVE me.) and i couldn't talk to any of the recruiters or bullshit with them like i usually do cause the sgt. major was there and they had to be at attention at all times. but kurt and i got to chill when we got back to his house for an hour or two, so i guess that made up for the weird "tagalong girlfriend" thing i had fallen into during the night.

anyway, i've become kinda obsessed with the soundtrack from the day after tomorrow, which is my favorite movie. (if you've seen the movie, im talking about the song in the opening credits, and all the other pieces) the man that composed all these original pieces for the movie is named harald kloser, and i think he is a genious musician and composer. i can't stop listening to it and if i were in orchestra still, i'd request we play the theme. it is absolutely breathtaking. i get chills everytime i listen.

ok i'm a music dork. i get it.

spring break update

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 03:00:32 GMT

pretty much did nothing i had planned on this whole spring break. i was supposed to keep up with my tanning but it didn't work out, and softball/PT took up every day for 6 hours at a time, which left room for nothing when practice starts at 10 and everything else i involuntarily have to do is over with at 4:30. i hung out with kurt twice, and didn't go shopping like i had wanted to. whenevr i plan things for myself, they never get fufilled. (why do i feel like i'm already old and missed out on everything in my life?!)

i saw blades of glory with kurt. it was funny, but nothing like anchorman. it didn't make me laugh, even though it's a great movie to quote. ummmm and i never hung out with courtney which sucks cause lord knows when i'll have another day off... my brace should be coming monday/tuesday and its getting overnighted for $50 just so i can get back into the season as fast as i can. i just wanna get back to normal, start losing weight again, and getting everything back in tip-top shape.

easter was superbbbbb. my grandparents came over for dinner yesterday and we had meatpies (it's an italian thing <3) and a whole bunch of desserts.... kristina was home and chris and kurt came too.... but carlo couldn't get time to come home from buffalo so we missed him. :[ i colored and created easter egg people as "placecards" for the table, and they came out so funny. easter was so awesome this year :]

meat pies - a combination of ham, cheese, pepperoni, salami, hard boiled eggs, and parsley baked in a pastry crust. so amazing <3

the egg family (carlo, dad, mom, me, and my sister.... i didn't have enough googly eyes to make hers hahaha)

kurt and christopher.... our honorary ferrara boys for the day.

me and my sweetheart <333333 he hates how he looks in this picture, but i don't care cause we're amazing <3

my own creation.... peeps taste like shit, but they sure are entertaining...

after my grandparents left, we layed around and napped and watched TV, then kurt and i watched click and then he went home :[ we had such a great day together and i just really really love him a lotttttt <333333333

today i layed around and ate, which wasn't such a smart idea. i decided to take stella for a walk, and she almost got eaten by a mutant lassie dog named max. i had to save the day and scoop her up... then later we went to my grandparent's house and had dessert and such... and i'm finally home now.

plans for tomorrow: practice, then PT which ruins my whole freakin LAST DAY OF BREAK....i really hate this shit.

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 14:30:57 GMT

we won our home game on friday against bellport. we wound up mercying them 12-0 in the 4th inning, and they were almost gracious. i guess they were expecting a massacre. it must be really sad to know you're going to get killed by any team you play, and go through the season with a record that constantly tips heavier and heavier to the right. i couldn't imagine. what a heartbreaker.

i should be back in softball after easter. it just so happened that i won't be missing any games over break, which is kinda lucky cause our next game is the 10th, the tuesday we get back, and i should have my brace by then. i got fitted for my new one on thursday by a brace guy we met at PT, who was a patient of chris'. he's so much better than the assholes that gave me the one i have now. at least this guy listens to me and knows what he's talking about.

ok so on the subject of PROMMMMMMMMMMM
kurt and i got invited to go with nico, kristyn, marissa, and like 30 other football guys and girls to go to six flags the morning after prom. the bus is completely decked out: xbox 360, leopard print seats, discoball, strobe light, 2 plasma tv's, bathroom, minibar, wood floors..... just about everything you could imagine. kurt's sleeping over here after prom and then we're meeting up with everyone at waldbaums uptown at 7 to go get breakfast at millenium, then an amazing 3 hour ride to great escape in NJ. there are probably like 4 other parties from smithtown that are gonna be going to six flags so if we have enough, we might be able to shut the park down :] it's gonna be so awesome i can't wait!!!!!!!! <33333333

plans for today: probably cleaning my room until jnet's pasta party, then after that most likely staying home for the night. but call if you wanna make plans for after 6:30 <3333

enrico mango, MD in being an asshole

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 02:05:03 GMT

i went to the orthopaedic today for my knee. what an idiot. really. but the good news is, i can return to gym, wearing my shitty brace. it's just a matter of time before i get the right type of brace before i can get back to catching. it's finally the home stretch in my rehab and i'm really losing my patience with these doctors. i know what feels right, i know my body and i know the limits that are set before me by the professionals. i don't need to be babied through it.

k i'm done ranting.

i'm forgoing my senior pictures tomorrow. i decided i'd much rather do them in the summer or june or something. that way, by then i'll have lost this surgery weight i've put on, i'll have built up a good tan, and i'll have had time to pick out what i'm gonna wear. i just can't fit that into my schedule right now.

vacation is in like, 2 days and i cannot wait to veg out. (even if it's only gonna be a little bit. screw softball dufdyukgfkjfdkf) kurt will be staying home for easter instead of his original plans to go to ohio; bittersweet i guess. he gets to party with my family again, so it all works out.

don't mind this; it's my to-do list

plans for vacation:

work on tan
get haircut
spring/summer shopping
see the number 23
hang with court
figure out prom stuff

aaaaaaaaaand speaking of prom; kurt and i have no idea what we're doing, IF we're doing anything, after prom. so if anyone wants to include us in their plans, please let one of us know. (ash i know you offered haha :] )

fsjhsjhsfdhjdfsjksf!!!!!!!

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 00:33:20 GMT

hmm first game today against hauppague, our biggest competition in our league. and we schooled them 7-4. niiiiiiiiiice. this league is gonna be a piece o' cake.

so i have that gazelle thingy that tony little advertises on TV. my mom bought it so i can get back in shape for softball and lose all this surgery weight. and don't knock it for the cheesy, way too happy, and obviously juiced up trainer that created it, cause it's an awesome machine. i broke out into a gross sweat (mmm yummy) and my whole body was burning. it really is a total body workout. i'm trying to do the 18 minute routine every night. ahhh i'm getting closer and closer to my goal! so sweet <33333333

i got my chem test back today, which i was stressing over, and i got an 81. probably one of the best score this quarter that i've received in that class. i think i'll be doing better this second half of the year, in terms of school. my head is in a somewhat better place than it was during all the knee surgery hype.

speaking of which, doctor's appointment tomorrow. please be nice, dr. mango. :] even though i hate you so much, please let me playyyyyyyyy

i'm cold and i have to pee

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 15:03:30 GMT

so, what's been going on in my life lately? i've become super-tight with my sgt.'s at RSS smithtown. they're like brothers to me and they take care of kurt and i. they had this competition called the sgt. major's cup this weekend for the best recruiting station in the county, and RSS smithtown won it. kurt also earned 5 other medals in events such as relay race, pushups, crunches, knowledge, and fireman's carry. i wish i could've been there :[

i went tanning yesterday and then went to kurt's house for the night. i really needed that. sometimes, you just need that little bit of time together to solidify a relationship. school always puts stress on us and we're at each other's throats for really stupid things. but everything works out when we get to cuddle and watch a movie, and not worry about anything else except us. <33333333

tomorrow's our first game. i'm only gonna miss about 2 or 3 of them by the time i get back, so it's no big deal. i just hate not being able to play, after being the starting catcher last year. but i'll be back with a vengeance and make headlines this year.

practice today @ 2:30, pasta party afterwards at valentino's. there goes my day off haha

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 22:35:50 GMT

YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, so I want to know things about you. I don't care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. Let me know who is reading my LiveJournal! (just put the following in a reply if you do it). Comments will be screened.

1. Can you cook?
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. What zodiac sign are you?
8. Are you dirty or clean?
9. Any tattoos and/or piercings
10. Worst habit?

HERE COMES THE FUN ...
1. How did we meet?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Do you have a negative or optimistic attitude?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
9. Do you have any pets?
10. What do you think of me as a person?
11. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
12. Do you believe in ghosts?
13. Biggest pet peeve?
14. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
15. How do you fall asleep?
16. Ever gotten angry with me?
17. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
18. A million bucks... what would you do with it?
19. What is your worst fear?
20. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
21. Can you sing or dance?
22. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
23. In one word, how would you describe me?
24. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
25. Can I unscreen this?

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 01:18:29 GMT

i'm so done with school. i've come to terms with the fact that i've been throwing my junior year away. math and chem can seriously suck it. i'm an A student in science, and chem just isn't my thing. i got a C last quarter and that never happens, and math.... math is just a whole other story. math was never my subject....and i feel like an idiot when i take tests/get them back. i feel like i'm alone through it all and no one can help me anymore. it's so tempting to just give in.... but i know, i know i can't. i pray to God He can help me get through.

SAT's are this coming saturday. i'm not ready. i haven't been studying or going to tutoring classes. but i think i'll be okay; i have SAT review index cards and i did get a 1690 on the P's. i guess i'll be fine. i worry too much.

and i've come to realize i was being too harsh on a good friend of mine who i used to think just used me for his own benefit. he's a great great kid and i was being shallow. but i know now i owe him the world for helping me out; he may not open up to me about his problems like i wish he would, but he's still an important friend of mine, and i know he's got my back.

hey nick white, here's to you.

-danielle

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:04:44 GMT

where did the vacation go?!

seriously. because i was gone smack dab in the middle of the week, it feels like vacation was only 2 days long. i didn't do any of the stuff i wanted to, and now i have to go to my grandparents house at 2 for a birthday.

there goes my last day of vacation.

in other news, i still don't know what i'm giving up for lent. kurt does, and i was kinda upset about it at first, but now i'm okay with what he wants to give up. i think maybe i'll give up eating junk food after 8 pm. i'll just drink water if i get hungry. but that's lame. how about giving up candy? yeah that works. and if i have a craving i'll reach for a piece of fruit.

still lame.

but i'll do it anyway.

i have a chem midterm tomorrow.... yeah, the day we come back. double period, 324767237843682342734 question test. i hate mckenna so much. oh yeah and an english project due on tuesday.

why do i suck at lifeeeeeeee

animal houseeeee

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 15:23:03 GMT

i'm posting from kris' dorm right now. this is only my second time at siena and this time i got to sleep on an air mattress instead of the floor. :] mom and i came up for 2 or 3 days and last night i decided i wanted to stay by kris. tonight i'm styaing at uncle pete and aunt jen's. yeahhhhhh. i had my first "saga" experience this morning, which is their dining hall, aka cafeteria. yeahhh i forgot to scan my mealpass and the woman didn't even care. then i had NO idea what i was doing cause kris had to go to class so i just walked around and got cereal. i tried making a waffle but i didn't put enough batter and there was a guy standing next to me watching my try to pry my mutant coowpie waffle off the griddle.....and he's like "a little more batter should do the trick" i was so embarassed so i said, "yeah i guess i'm on a diet this morning." chuckle chuckle. instant embarassament.

kri's roomies are off to class now so maybe i can get a shower in. blahhh i didn't sleep well i'm crankyyy

oh ps i love my boyfriend. :]